Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Anti dove commercial moment

The way I look has been bothering me recently. I've written before about how I have a condition called diastasis recti (separation of stomach muscles as a result of my second pregnancy) which gives my stomach the appearance of being pregnant. It doesn't matter that I've been working out and eating right for two years now, the only thing that will fix my stomach is plastic surgery. Almost everyday some well meaning person will ask me if I am expecting. What I want to make clear is that these are not crass rude ignorant people but nice normal kind people. I get feedback about my body from my son too. The other day, I was helping my son sound out "at" words and when we came to "fat" he said "Like your tummy mommy!" Although all this feedback can be unpleasant, it doesn't bother me that much. What I feel bad about is a conversation I had with my daughter.
After a big dinner yesterday, my daughter walked up to me, saying "Look mommy my stomach is getting big like you! I'm going to have a big stomach just like you!" She was so pleased about it. I wish I had told her that people come in all different shapes and sizes and can be beautiful no matter what, but I didn't. I raised my shirt and showed her my flabby misshapen, stretch mark covered round stomach and said "Mommy doesn't like her tummy, mommy is working very hard to get rid of it. Mommy's tummy makes mommy feel sad. I like your little tummy better." My daughter tilted her head to one side and took a good look at my tummy. She touched it tentatively. "You don't like it?" she asked in a small voice. I said no. She immediately sucked in her tummy and I changed the subject.
So until yesterday there was someone in this world who thought I was beautiful just the way I am and what did I do? I tore that down and instead initiated her to the very societal standards that I rail against.

Dove commercial - when was the last time you felt beautiful?

Me at 3

My daughter at 3
I hope she always feels beautiful.

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